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Berühmte Zitate
Swabian German 

updated 11th of May 2021

Teacher: "I hope I don't catch you again when you copy from your neighbour!"
Student: "Yes, I hope so, too."

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Teacher: (in German lesson) "I don't come, you don't come, he doesn't come. What does it mean?"
Student: "Simple. That means that nobody comes."

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Teacher: "What do you think, which are the three most used words from students?"
Student: "I don't know."
Teacher: "Yes, true."

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Student: "It has 6 legs, green eyes and a long peak."
Teacher: "I don't know."
Student: "I also don't know, but it's just crawling over your shoulder."

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Student: "Teacher, today you wanted to tell us something about the brain."
Teacher: "Later. In the moment I have something else in my head."

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Little Michael is standing in the living room in the corner when mother comes home.
Mother: "Michael, what are you doing?"
Michael: "I practise for school."

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The students in the German class have to write a story.
The topic is: If I would be the manager of a big company. Everybody is writing, except Michael.
Teacher: "Michael, why don't you write?"
Michael: "I am waiting for my secretary."

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In the English lesson:
Teacher: "When I say: I am sick, what time is that?"
Student: "It's a nice time."

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Teacher: "Where is your certificate?"
Student: "I gave it to Michael. He wants to frighten his parents."

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Teacher: "There are two words which I never want to hear from you. One is damnstupid and the other is megacrazy."
Student: "That's OK, teacher. Which are the 2 words?"

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A picture was taken from the school class and the teacher.
Teacher: "I tell you, make copies from the picture. Think about when after 30 years you look at the picture and you will say: "Oh, that's Michael. He is now also a teacher, and this, isn't this Peter? He has an own bakery today. And this, this is Tom, he emigrated to Amerika."
From the last row one student said: "And this is our teacher. He is since 25 years dead."

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