Navigation
Home
Send a mail
Internal links  
Hash House Harriers
Biker Entertainment
Bikerwitze
Der Pfalzausflug
Tony the Raceface
Motorcycle History
Fahrphysik
Technische Daten
Chopper & Cruiser
Ausrüstung & Zubehör
Motor Matters
My favourite pictures
Meine Motorradgeschichte
My motorcycle history
Meine Autogeschichte
Ford Explorer
BMW Montauk
Harley Fat Bob
Yamaha Raptor
Andere Motorräder
Travel Reports
Trips in Germany
Saudi Arabia l
Saudi Arabia ll
United Arabic Emirates
Teacher
Lehrer
Teachers
Lehrerwitze
Student jokes
Lehrersprüche
Noteworthy
Helden
Hühner
Chicken
Hashers
Rezepte
Schwaben
Interessant
About cigars
Sachsenwitze
Schwabenwitze
Jokes in English
Noch mehr Witze
Some time ago
Berühmte Zitate
Swabian German 

updated 11th of May 2021

Jokes

A postman felt down because it was cold and the road icy, frozen from the rain. And he felt down from his bicycle directly infront of a policeman. Letters and postcards spreaded all over. Policeman: "Are there more idiots like you working in the post office?" Postman: "No, I am the last one. The rest is now working with the police."

 

Police Control   A woman was stopped by the police because of speeding. The policeman asked to show the driver‘s license, but she says:“But…, your colleague took it just a few minutes ago, because I had 2,3 per mille blood alcohol.“ The officer was shocked and wanted to see the car papers at least. She answered: „I don‘t have one, because this car is stolen and the owner couldn‘t give it to me because he already was dead.“ The policeman now suspected a very big thing and called his headquarter. Soon after almost the whole police department was surrounding the car of the woman. The chief officer came closer to the driver and asked her for her driver‘s license and she gave it to him willingly, also the car papers and she also was not drunken. The chief was confused and the woman said:“You see what incompetend officers you have. The next what your policeman will argue maybe is that I was driving too fast.“

 

The Tiger joke     There was this tiger, who woke up one morning, and just felt great (yes, just like Tony the Tiger: GREAAAAAAT). Anyway, he just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?" And this poor quaking little monkey replied: "You are of course, no one is mightier than you."A little while later this tiger confronts a deer, and just bellows out:"WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"The deer is shaking so hard it can barely speak, but manages to stammer: "Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle."The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered, up to an elephant that was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?"Well, this elephant grabs the tiger with his trunk, picks him up, slams him down; picks him up again, and shakes him until the tiger is just a blur of orange and black; and finally throws him violently into a nearby tree. The tiger staggers to his feet and looks at the elephant and says: "Man, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so pissed."

 

Pearl Harbour Vs Titanic     A Chinese man went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he was amazed to see that he was sitting next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg. After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that the famous producer was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the Director. Picking himself up, he yelled, "What the hell was that for?" The director ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you##@!!*#! My dad perished in that bombing!" "I am not Japanese, you stupid **~##!?*! I am Chinese!" "Yeah yeah yeah...Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, you are all the same", retorted Spielberg. Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a mighty punch to the director, sending him flat onto the floor. "What was that for?" exclaimed the director. "That's for sinking the Titanic! I had ancestors on that ship!" the Chinese replied. "You ignorant chink! The Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!" shouted the director. "Yeah yeah yeah ... Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg ,.. you are all the same!"

 

In The Bar    A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

 

Good + Bad News    The doctor says to the patient after examination: "I have a good news and a bad news for you. First the bad news: You have the Alsheimer sicknes. The good news is: When you are at home you forgot it already."

 

The Elevator    Little Jethro and his family were visiting the big city for the first time. In the lobby of the fancy hotel where they were staying, Jethro and his father stood marveling at the elevator with its blinking lights and shiny doors. After a couple of minutes Jethro asked, "Pa, what in tarnation is that thing?" "I do not rightly know, son," Pa replied. Just then an old woman approached and stepped carefully into the elevator. The doors slit shut, and when they reopened, a few moments later, out stepped a beautiful young blonde in a summer dress. "Boy," Pa said quietly. "Go and get your ma."

 

The Bear Joke    A man goes to the forrest hunting a bear. He waits and waits, then somebody claps him on the shoulder. He turns around his head ... and it's the bear and he said to the man:"Now you have two possibilities: Either you die now or you give me a blowjob." The man doesn't want to die of course. The next day the man goes out to hunt the bear again. He waits and waits and after some time somebody claps him on the shoulder. He turns around his head ... and it's the bear again and he said to the man:"Now you have two possibilities: Either you die now or you give me a blowjob." So the man had to give the bear again a blowjob. The next day the man goes out again, thinking that today he will get the bear. He takes dynamite with him, searches the cave of the bear and waits. When he thought the bear is in, he lit up the dynamite and threw it into the cave. While he was waiting for the explosion, somebody claps him on the shoulder. He turns around his head ... and it's the bear and he said to the man:"Either you are so stupid or you like to suck!"

 

The Crying Man    The man sits crying in the cellar. His wife comes and asks him, what he has. He said: "Do you remember when you were pregnant? Your mother said, that I either marry you or I go to prison. And today is the day I would be released!"

 

Sperm Clinic    What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving? "Thanks for coming."

 

Guys + Lady    Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE....you know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK....you know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB...you know, rich urban biker." They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?", and she replies "I'm a WIFE...you know...Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

 

Thanksgiving Prayer    A 4-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Thanksgiving  dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking the Lord for all his friends, naming them one  by one. Then he thanked the Lord for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister,  Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank the Lord for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank the Lord for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"

 

Late cuming   A hasher was always getting into trouble with his wife for staying out too late with the pack. One day he was wrapping up work at the office when his secretary asked if she could get a ride home. The hasher was reluctant to do it because his wife was expecting him at 6 pm for dinner. However, being a good boss, he gave her a ride home. Once he got to her apartment, she asked if he would please come up and help her move something. Again, the hasher was reluctant, but decided to help out. After he moved the furniture, she offered him a beer as a reward. Being a hasher, he was more reluctant to turn down the beer than be late for his wife's dinner. One beer led to another and before he knew it he was making passionate love to his secretary. The hasher woke up a few hours later and realized he was in real trouble. He went down to the kitchen and looked around for some flour and rub a little onto his hands and clothes. He then left and went home. When the hasher arrived at the door, his wife was still awake and very angry. "Where have you been?" she demanded. "Well, I have to confess. I took my secretary home and one thing led to another and we made love all night." His wife glanced down at his hands and pants, then came closer to smell his breath. "Yeah right, you've been to the hash all night from the smell of beer on your breath and from the looks of your hands and clothes, you must have been the hare."

    

Naive   A young harrier went to his first interhash and got lucky the first night. After the sex was over, he asked the harriette, "Am I the first hasher you have ever made love to?" She replied with a puzzled look, "You might be, your face does look familiar."

  

Real Needs   The good Father was easy on his flock, so when he saw little Tommy take 20 dollars from the collection plate, he thought that maybe the poor boy needed it and looked the other way. A few days later, he saw the boy take another 20 dollar bill from the plate. He decided he must confront the boy, so after the service, he took him aside and asked, "Tommy, why are you taking twenty dollars from the collection plate every time you come to mass?" "I needed the money for a blow job." said the boy sheepishly. The Father let the boy go because he was not sure what a blow job was and did not want to chastise him if it was a real need. A little while later, the Mother Superior came into his office for a visit, so he asked her, "Mother Superior, what's a blow job?" She replied with a smile, "Twenty bucks."

  

Oh, God...   The little boy asks his father: "Dad, what is that what Mum has?" And he points at her breasts. "That are balloons. And when she is dead, she flies with them to heaven." A few days later the boy very excited calls the father at work: "Dad, come home fast. Mum is dying." "My God, why that?" "The neighbor is here and blows up Mum's balloons and she is calling the whole time: Oh God, I'm comming!"

  

Elephant Dick   Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of  animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant,  ees its willy points to it and says, "Mummy, what is that long thing?" His mother replies, "That son, is the elephant's trunk." "No, at the other end." "That son is the tail." "No, mummy, the thing under the elephant" A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, "Thats nothing." The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question. "Daddy, what is that long thing?" "That's the trunk, son" replies the father. "No at the other end." "Oh, that is the tail." "No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation. "That is the elephants penis.  Why do you ask son?" "Well mummy said it was nothing," says the boy. Replies the father: "I tell you, I spoil that woman ..."

  

The Illness   Akmed came to the United States from Afghanistan, and he was only here a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him. Finally, he went to an Arab doctor. The doctor said, "Take dees bocket, go into de odder room, shit in de bocket, piss on de shit, and den put your head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes." Akmed took the bucket, went into the other room, shit in the bucket, pissed on the shit, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes. Coming back to the doctor he said, "It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?" The doctor said, "You were homesick."

  

At the airport   A discussion at an American airport, in the immigration office: Name? Muhjmatil Sahtamil. Sex? Three times a week. I mean: male or female? Doesn't matter...

  

Guess my age   A 74 year old grandfather still feels young and asks the barkeeper to guess his age. The barkeeper said: "50?" The grandfather replies: "Ha, I am 74. You didn't expect that, or?" "No, you do not look one day older than 50!" Later in the pharmacy the old man asks the sales girl to guess his age. The girl said: "50?" The grandfather replies: "Ha, I am 74. You didn't expect that, or?" "No, you do not look one day older than 50!" Already in a good mood he asks a grandmother waiting at the bus stop, how old she guesses he is. She said: "Oh, you got the right person because I am good in guessing the age. But you must let me feel your dick!" The grandfather looks around and sees nobody else waiting and agreed. After the grandmother played 5 minutes with his dick, she said: "74." "Now I am surprised. How can you know that?"She answered: "In the pharmacy I was standing behind you!"

  

Out hashing all night     A hasher was always getting into trouble with his wife for staying out too late with the pack. One day he was wrapping up work at the office when his secretary asked if she could get a ride home. The hasher was reluctant to do it because his wife was expecting him at 6 pm for dinner. However, being a good boss, he gave her a ride home. Once he got to her apartment, she asked if he would please come up and help her move something. Again, the hasher was reluctant, but decided to help out. After he moved the furniture, she offered him a beer as a reward. Being a hasher, he was more reluctant to turn down the beer than be late for his wife's dinner. One beer led to another and before he knew it he was making passionate love to his secretary. The hasher woke up a few hours later and realized he was in real trouble. He went down to the kitchen and looked around for some flour and rub a little onto his hands and clothes. He then left and went home. When the hasher arrived at the door, his wife was still awake and very angry. "Where have you been?" she demanded. "Well, I have to confess. I took my secretary home and one thing led to another and we made love all night." His wife glanced down at his hands and pants, then came closer to smell his breath. "Yeah right, you've been to the hash all night from the smell of beer on your breath and from the looks of your hands and clothes, you must have been the hare."

  

Pregnant    A 94 year old man comes very excited to the doctor and says: „Doc, I don‘t understand it. I simply don‘t understand. I am 94, my wife is 25 and she is pregnant. I simply don‘t understand it!“ The doctor replies: „Hold on, slowly. Imagine, you go on a Sunday walking in the forrest and you see a rabbit. You take your walking stick, aim at the rabbit and you call PENG – and the rabbit falls down and is dead.“„Yeah, that‘s clear“, says the old man. „Somebody else shot“ „You see“, says the doctor. „You understand it…“

  

Guess who    Bush, Gore and Ramsfield having lunch in the White House. Bush says to Ramsfield: „Listen, I will ask you something: It is a child of your parents, but it is not your brother and not your sister. Who is it?“ Ramsfield answers: „Yeah, that‘s clear. It‘s myself.“ Bush says: „Clever, Ramsfield, clever.“ Bush walks back to his office and on the way he meets Clinton. He says to Clinton: „Listen, I will ask you something: It is a child of your parents, but it is not your brother and not your sister. Who is it?“ Clinton thinks and thinks. Then Bush says: „Don‘t worry, I also didn‘t know it. It‘s Ramsfield!“

  

Mouse    Mouse went into a bar and saw a horse at one end of the bar and a bucket of money at the other. He asked the bartender what was the deal with the horse and the money. The bartender said you put two dollars into the bucket and if you can make the horse laugh you get the money. So Mouse put 2 dollars into the bucket, walked over to the horse and whispered something into the horses ear. A second later the horse starts to laugh like you've never heard a horse laugh. Mouse took the money and left. Two weeks later the Mouse walked back into the same bar, saw the same horse and the same barrel of money. He asked the bartender what was up now. The bartender said this time if you can make the horse cry you can take the money. Mouse took the horse into the back room and a couple of minutes later they reappeared, the horse is just bawling, crying his eyes out. As Mouse picked up the money and headed to the door, the bartender asked how in the hell he was making the horse laugh and cry. So Mouse told him... "The first time I told him that my dick was bigger than his." "The second time I showed him."

  

Giving Her What She Wants A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is none too experienced either. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darring" he says, " I know dis yo firs time and yo berry frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - jus anyting you want, you say. Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I want... numba 69". More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries...."You want Beef wif Broccori?"

 

Rainbow Hair   A hasher was sitting on a bench in the mall. A young man walked up and sat down beside the hasher. The young man had spiked, colored hair. Colors of blue, green, yellow, red and orange. The hasher just stared. Every time the young man turned around, the hasher was staring at him. Finally, the young man says sarcastically, "What's the matter, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the hasher replied, "Got drunk once at an On In and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son?"

 

25th anniversary   A man and his wife got to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th Anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks like I did a pretty good job."

Hallway sex   Two sixty year old men were talking about there sex lives. The first man said his sex life had slowed down these days but he was happy he still got it once and awhile. The second man said that the only sex he and his wife have now is hallway sex. The first man asked what the hell was hallway sex? "Simple," said the second man, "Every time my wife and I pass each other in the hallway, she says 'FUCK-YOU' and I say 'FUCK-YOU TOO.'"

Bravery   A young black man died and appeared at the Pearly Gates only to be told "You can't come in here!" "Why not?" He demanded to know. "Because this place is reserved for the bravest of the brave." "Well Hell," he says. "I'm one of the bravest men that have ever lived!" "Oh yeah! What did you ever do that was so brave?" "I married a white girl on the courthouse steps in Hattiesburg, Mississippi!" "Wow! That really was brave. When did you do that?" "About two minutes ago."

If I die   A wife asks her husband, "If I died, would you marry again?" "I would!" "And would you let her come into my house?" "I would!" "Would she be working in my kitchen?" "She would!" "Would she sleep in my bed?" "She would!" "Would she put her clothes in my press?" "She would!" "Would she have my Renault 4?" "She would!" "Would she use my golf clubs?" "Definately not!" "Why?" "She's left-handed!"

A dying wish   A woman goes for her yearly physical and after all the poking, prodding and tests, the physician says gravely, "I'm sorry, but you only have 12 hours to live." Hearing this ,the woman rushes home ,explains her condition to her husband and states, "I want us to spend this whole evening having wild and crazy sex." To which her husband exclaims, "Well , that's easy for you to say. You don't have to get up in the morning!"

The shepard   Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course." The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, "352." This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock." The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others. When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?

Yesterday   Yesterday, all those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, there's not half the files there used to be, And there's a milestone hanging over me The system crashed so suddenly. I pushed something wrong What it was I could not say. Now all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay. Yesterday, The need for back-ups seemed so far away. I knew my data was all here to stay, Now I believe in yesterday.

Fat like whales   Your mama is so fat, she jumped into the ocean and the whales circled around her and started singing "We are family!"

Shopping   Two blondes went shopping one day. They got done shopping and went out to their brand new, cherry red convertible. They got to the car and noticed that they had locked their keys in the car. So they tried to think of a way to get the keys out. After trying for an hour and a half, one blonde notices that there is a rainstorm coming and says, "You better hurry up because it is gonna rain and the top is down!"

God   After espying a beautiful blond walking by a man says to God, "God, why did you make blondes so beautiful?" God responded, "So you would love her." "But God", The man replied, "Why did you make her so dumb?" God replies, "So she would love you."

Password request   A female computer consultant was helping a macho male set up his computer and she asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass the female he told her to enter: "PENIS". Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password, but she almost died laughing at the computer's response: "PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH."

Don't Drink Beer!!   Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.

Three pregnant women   A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde--were sitting in the OBGYN waiting room, discussion conception. "My husband and I conceived in the missionary position," said the brunette, "so our baby will be a boy." "My boyfriend and I conceived in the female-superior position," said the redhead," so we're having a girl." As the blonde listened to the two women's conversation, she suddenly burst into tears. "My god!" she cried, "I'm having puppies!"

How to impress a woman   Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.... How to impress a man: Show up naked. Bring beer.

The gambler and the taxi driver   A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc., but to no avail. The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

In Italy   In Italy, a man went to a priest and confessed. "Forgive me, Father," he said, sobbing. "During World War II, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," the priest replied, "that's not a sin." "But," the man admitted, "I made him pay rent." "That wasn't very nice," the priest said, "but you still put yourself at risk." "Oh, thank you, Father," the man said. "But I have one more question." "What is it?" "Do you think I have to tell him the war is over?"

Bush visits school   U.S. President George Bush visits a school and explains his political actions. Afterwards he   invites the children to ask him questions. Little Bob  rises to speak: Mr. President, I have got three questions to ask:   1. How did you win the election although you had less votes than Gore?   2. Why do you want to attack the Iraq without reason?   3. Don't you think that the nuclear bomb on Hiroshima was the biggest      terrorist attack of all times? Just in that moment the bell for the break rings and the children run out of the classroom. When they come back from the break President Bush encourages them again to ask questions. This time Joey rises to speak: Mr. President, I have got five questions to ask:   1. How did you win the election although you had less votes than Gore?   2. Why do you want to attack the Iraq without reason?   3. Don't you think that the nuclear bomb on Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist attack of all times?   4. Why did the bell ring 20 minutes earlier today?   5. Where is Bob?

Little Mary    Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' There were no further questions since the Teacher fainted.